i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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