My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
