My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I smell stomach acid.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
