I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
