YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
