God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
