Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize