It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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