Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
