He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
