This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
