I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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