Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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