its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
