But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
