Jerry, you need to find god
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
