I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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