Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
