he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My feet surprised me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
