Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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