i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
