no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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