He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
