Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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