absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
