wrigley field is MILF paradise
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
