Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
