stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
