she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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