people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
