been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
