Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
