i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
