Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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