Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
