Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
