Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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