And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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