I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
