I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
