ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
