you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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