We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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