Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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