I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
