barbara walters just said penis...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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