you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
