I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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