I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize