UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
