I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
