Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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