i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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