my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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