I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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