Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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