its not stalking. its research.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
