I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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