You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
