We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
