I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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