Who did Billy Mays play for?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
