We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
